|
Post by forgottenxthreat on Dec 11, 2009 14:57:15 GMT -5
new poem by me called The Changing. When i wrote it i pictured a mother with her young child. Tell me what your mental image was! comments please
Underneath the covers, love. Quickly hide from lights, above. We must shield our face and name From the spotlights of the moon. When we cringe from piercing rays, we hope for the better days When we need not hide our frame From the spotlights of the moon.
Always cower; change is soon. There’s no mercy from the moon.
Hold my hand, now, tightly, love. Do not fear the cries above. There is not regret, nor shame, In the spotlights of the moon. Join the hunt and follow us, we are one, for you, we trust. Victories and splendor, wild All in spotlights of the moon.
Always howl, never croon. We are the mercy of the moon.
Changing back, changing soon, Master spotlights of the moon.
Feel what’s in your body, love. Pulsing veins are sign above. Waning now and falling fast, Are the spotlights of the moon. You are tied, yes you are bound. Freedom seldom ever found. We must bow, for now our gods Are the spotlights of the moon.
|
|
|
Post by kangaroo cry on Dec 11, 2009 16:56:34 GMT -5
JULIEANN, I loved this! It rhymed, which is hard to dooooo! And I got two different images; for a while I got this guy and girl image, like they're on the run and they're protecting each other, you know, the "We must shield our face and name" and the "we hope for better days" and they're running from something that wasn't their fault but they're being blamed and it's this big deal.
My other image was a werewolf. You know, the whole "Changing back, changing soon, Master spotlights of the moon." Like, the moon is the werewolf's master in the sense that it controls when werewolves change. And the "Feel what’s in your body, love. Pulsing veins are sign above." It just makes me think of werewolves. =]
And I have no idea how you got a mother-child image. SO, your poetry is very versatile. Which is really awesome! GOOD JOBBB!
|
|
|
Post by ♪♪♫♪ on Dec 11, 2009 17:01:56 GMT -5
I have to say that I love, love, love how this poem rhymes but it still has a deep meaning and it's very... well, poetic! I really like it because of what I thought of/the imagery I got...
I definitely got the mother-child image, but I imagined a time in history where a certain people had to run away, or something like that. Maybe something to do with Greek myths or something. It just reminded me of a time in history, or a story that would be passed down about someone famous (the child)... I can try to be more in-depth if you'd like, but I didn't get a "specific" image, just a concept, but I fell in love with that concept because of the vagueness.
Beautiful!
|
|
|
Post by forgottenxthreat on Dec 12, 2009 17:15:52 GMT -5
Aaahhhh! I really like your comments, guys!! Thank you!!! Those are cool mental images you got there... I really like hearing about them! And i'm glad you both liked that it rhymed because i liked that it rhymed, too. :-) I got another one coming soon (i'm in a poetry phase, working on compilation of poetry) so i'll keep you posted ;D
|
|
|
Post by Jckwik246369 on Dec 14, 2009 22:17:52 GMT -5
I. Love. This. There are no words to describe how good this poem was. While I did get a few different images in my head the one that stood out the strongest was the one you mentioned before the poem began. I feel that it is almost like a gypsy mother and child on the run from some unknown danger. Either that or an apocalyptic scene.
Whichever you prefer there is no denying that this piece of poetry is amazing and deserves to be hung from the white house rafters.
|
|
|
Post by forgottenxthreat on Dec 15, 2009 11:29:29 GMT -5
Hahaha, why thankkk you, josh! Glad you enjoyed it so! Hmmm.. gypsies.... -scratches chin in thought-
|
|